When relationships end, people may feel though their hearts are broken. The end of the first few relationships in life comes with extraordinary pain that appears unbearable and endless. The physical heart really doesn’t break from sad times, but the strong pain encountered when breaking up makes it feel as though the heart is breaking too. Time is one of the essential factors that will help heal a broken heart, but there are other things to do, while sadness and depression continue to exist.
Denying grief, devastation, and sadness tend to mean it will persist, so one way to start to heal a broken heart is to express emotions in safe ways. Cry, listen to some moody music and cry more, and use writing, art, or painting to express grief. Avoid behaviors that will be destructive like using alcohol or drugs to distract from strong feelings, or jumping into relationships with others to try to forget. Allow time to grieve and the expression of feelings as a main pathway to heal a broken heart.
Good friends can help heal a broken heart by being there to listen, but there may be a limit to their patience. After the first few weeks of getting over a bad breakup, people may still need to talk. If friends are tired of the conversation, try talking with parents, other relatives, or a supportive teacher, pastor or school counselor. When this is still not enough, getting counseling from a therapist can be a great way to work out difficult feelings.
Some people find themselves dwelling on the person who broke their heart. This isn’t always a good thing, and it can be important to not get hurt more by attempting to see or talk to these people. Any mementos from a relationship should probably be put away too, so they are not visual reminders of broken hearts. They may keep people from being able to move on.
A broken heart can feel as though a person will never be happy again, but it’s important to try to distract by doing things that are enjoyable or that form a valuable part of life. For instance, don’t give up on practicing an instrument, pursuing art, singing, or doing others things that are of interest. It can seem like a relationship was the only thing in life when it ends, but life existed before the relationship and goes on after it. It is a small part of a whole person’s life and not the sum of it, and it’s very common for people to exaggerate the importance of things that they lose. It may seem like the relationship or love was the most important thing in the world, but remembering all the other things that are good too can start the process to heal a broken heart.
Useful distractions to help heal a broken heart can include staying active and getting exercise, attending movies, concerts or anything else that is interesting. It’s even okay to laugh again when it feels right. This is not a betrayal of the heart’s former love but a sign that humans have tremendous ability to heal. It’s also possible to have conflicted feelings, to love someone else and miss him or her and, yet be angry that the person left.
Time eventually helps heal a broken heart, but there may always be a small ache over what occurred. It’s why many people remember their first loves and first relationships most of their lives. There are things to learn from these experiences, but it can take a while for people to remember something fondly instead of with pain and suffering. When pain continues, and especially if a person begins to feel that he or she cannot live because of a broken heart, seek counseling to get help with this healing process.
